BC Week 17 – Something I’m Proud Of

This post may be completely self-centered and narcissistic but I really don’t care.

***

I am proud of myself.

Saying that means a lot to me. It has taken me over 7 years to realize that I too am human. I get hurt, I break and I can repair myself. I am nowhere near where I’d like to be in life but that’s okay. I’m trying and I still have my entire life ahead of me.

Although I’m only 17, I’ve been through my fair share of dramatic events. Mainly because I didn’t know what any of them meant. I thought they were all “how life went”. Now I know that what I’ve been through isn’t anywhere near as bad as what others have experienced. But they were my drama and my difficulties. And after time I overcame every single one of them. Coming out a better person on the other side.

If you had asked me this same question 2 years ago, I never would have said myself. I never would have even thought about myself in relation to this question. I was a completely different person 2 years ago. There person I am today is different to the person I was 6 years ago, 2 years ago and even last year. I am constantly growing and changing.

Some of you may be questioning why I am proud of myself and not someone else. Below are some reason to cure your curiosity.

I came to terms with who I am
For years I could never look at myself for who I really was, both physically and mentally. There were times when I wished I could disappear and become someone else. I even thought about creating a fake profile online so people would like me, however I never did.

But now I know who I am, and who I want to be. Every day I still struggle with trying to love myself for who I am, but I’m a lot closer than I was 6 years ago.

I stopped forgiving people
Ever since I could remember I was always finding a way to forgive someone. No matter what they did. There were times when I would convince myself that I was the problem not them. That I had done something wrong and I had to change.

It took me years, but after being used and dropped on my head a dozen times I finally realized that something wasn’t right. This wasn’t normal. Not everyone treated others like that. I realized that some people are just bad people and there’s nothing you can do to change them.

I stopped living in the past
For years all I would think about was the past and everything I had done wrong. People I had hurt, people who had hurt me and what things would be like today if certain events didn’t happen. Living in the past is a very toxic thing for someone to do. All you end up thinking about is how you could have done things better. You forget about all the good things that happened to you. All the bad things are constantly being recognized for something they shouldn’t be.

Living in the future is way more exciting. There are an endless amount of possibilities. You can imagine and plan anything for yourself. Your future is in your hands and I am so thankful I realized that.

I started losing weight the healthy way
When I was 13 years old I started starving myself. I could go weeks without food and feel perfectly fine. My body grew accustom to the way I was treating it. It became a habit. A habit I didn’t even know I was doing anymore. To this day I still forget to eat a meal sometimes. And my body doesn’t hate me because I did it for so long.

I’ve finally started eating healthy and working out regularly. Although I don’t go to the gym I do get enough exercise. I would like to have a gym membership but our gym isn’t that great and the people are incredibly rude.

And although I do have the occasional slip up, I’m still a lot closer to my goal than I was before.

I stood up for myself
For a long time I wasn’t treated the way I wanted to be. I wasn’t treated how I treated others. And for a very long time I thought it was because I deserved it. It wasn’t. Sometimes people treat others like absolute shit and they are the problem not you. Some people are just rude all the time.

If you’re being disrespected for no absolute reason get out of that relationship/friendship as quick as you can. No body deserves to be treated like that. You’ll thank yourself for it later.

*~*

So, I’m proud of myself. In the end, the only person who matters to me, is myself. If I don’t treat myself how I’d like to be treated, then how will/why would others will treat me the way I’d like to be treated?

Worry about yourself before you worry about others.

What are you proud of?

 

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